All That You Ignore By Jason Wallace Poetry

You’ve left nothing here

But this souvenir,

This scar

That hardens my heart,
All That You Ignore
All That You Ignore By Jason Wallace Poetry
Tearing down into my soul, So far, I’ve been hidden behind the shadow That rests near that heart. I’ve been washed away, Worried that I don’t Matter so much to say That I could be anything Like you used to think I was. I haven’t found the way to Be half of half enough. You’re blistered. You’re bliss at times that I Can no longer have for mine. I only wish you’d Be with me, at least, half this day Just so I could finally get you From all of this decay And maybe work out my own way To be better than you seem to think of me. I wither. I slither Through this life that looks so much like Hell. I intended so much more than this, So much that I could no longer tell Where the fantasies ended and this life wasn’t blended With all of that and was some reality, in fact. I meant so very well, But you’ve given me nothing but a sore spot that Reminds me of how I failed. If you could, just find some time to finally set me free. This isn’t like anything before. I’m alive and not so well And have so little for me in store. I used to have some happiness, somewhere in myself. I used to not feel so empty and not compare me To absolutely everyone and everything else. I’ve already forgotten what it’s like to ever Have something more than just this pain. I’m ready to be forgotten And to know that I don’t have to remain In this, all of this, all of it, all that I can No longer know how to endure. I don’t grow stronger. I just look in me for a cure To this sickness, this sentence, this emblem Of everything so impure. I’m everything impure, and I’m all that you ignore. If you liked this, make sure to check out my author page for great deals on my books, funny pics, and more. https://www.facebook.com/thepageofauthorjasonwallace Or, follow me on Twitter: @authorjwallace To meet file size requirements, I have added additional works. If I’m to Blame If I’m to blame, Do I take that fall? If crying is the crime, What do you have to say? Do you now Have it all? Time and time again, I’ve had to be the one That’s had to walk away. But no hurt in a while Has made me break back down. I’m used to it and can even smile When you only wanna drag me into your Hell. If I’m to blame, What do I say? Where do I stay to Stay away? If I felt a bit of what you admit You want me to feel, I could not be Who I am, who you’ve made me, And I would rather die inside all over again. I will not submit, but I will not quit. This one last appeal is to calm your heart, Your bitterness a bit and still Have some shot at all the naught That this is coming to, that you’ve unglued, to finally end. Where is it that you’ve Taken yourself away to like so often before When I could only hold my head in my hands And breathe heavily to not ignore but simply implore Some better judgment of myself, to not break out, To do my best to deny the rest of all of this emptiness And maybe, just maybe, understand. If I’m to blame, I take the shame. I take the cold, staring circumstance. I don’t know who you are Or what you want or when I wasn’t some Wasted days, some yesterdays that Should’ve been but have gone and come and gone again. Are you at all like me, Sitting in a car, in make believe, Wondering why the worst of it never leaves And why it is that you can’t find relief From a life you never intended to pretend to need? When it was all hanging on a rope, I found a part of you and found some hope, But I hoped too hard, and it came apart, And I never left, but I could never be The mat you asked to lay on the ground to wipe your feet. I might have a persevering heart, but it’s still a heart that bleeds. I’m in agony. I’ve been deceived, but If I’m to blame, I take it all for no less but maybe more. I take it all the same, If I’m to blame. Though I was right, and you were wrong, I… waved goodbye because I… Walked in on A time when you were Already gone, giving up, and No longer strong, Taking back all That tore you up and Tearing up all the Paper strings of a Not enough kind of Do it rough sort of Life you Could not love, So we never were and Never truly could be What you want, so you Put me down Because you Put me up Too high in the sky on a Pedestal that no one could Stand on in the rain that you Poured out of your Bitter cup. I’m bruised enough to Be no more used too much, And… if I’m to blame, Do you remember who I am? Do you remember my name? I guess I’m to blame. If I am, If I’m to blame, I’ll push it away again and Into the holes in my veins Where my blood has spilled to nearly kill me Once and for all, for all of the same, Because I’m the one to blame, I guess I’m the one to blame, so, If I’m to blame, So be it as it may, because If I’m to blame, It no longer matters what I say. Again Alone I have nowhere to go No place to be The only home that I know Is an empty place Of Misery The one that I lost Was the best one for me I let her leave Because of my jealousy I just could not compete If that was reality Why would she want me If she could have Someone who wouldn't Melt from the heat So alone I'm turning to stone The blood in my veins Just spilled on the ground And no one's around But pain I caused For us both It's a demon whose face Has already shown I thought being grown Meant making mistakes But taking the blame And erasing the pain And when that seed's sown Knowing that all that's known Is a lesson to learn About how not to be And what from yourself Never again to condone But a lesson that's learned Can come with a loss The prize you hold onto Slips out of your hands because the cost Is more than you feel you can pay But at the end of the day The regret you let creep in your way Is that you've let someone else become burned So alone I'm turning to stone The blood in my veins Just spilled on the ground And no one's around But pain I caused For us both It's a demon whose face Has already shown On the road to the unknown This scar I'll have on my hand Isn't half as hard as the one I'm bearing inside From messing up the greatest thing I ever tried What maybe just could've been Is going to be a thought that Comes with the memory Of the way this all had to end And the lie that I will pretend Doesn't get me down And make me drown in my sin So alone, more broken and frozen, I'm turning to stone The blood in my veins Just spilled on the ground Spots and drops of red Staining as it surrounds And no one's around But pain I caused For us both It's a demon whose face Has already shown And I know I'm at fault For being again alone I can't get how What was maybe almost love Was at best just a loan Recalled and repossessed and cutting Straight to the bone And when both wounds heal I won't have her hand to hold Because I am again alone Lost It All I know that you've been waitin Hopin for someone to come Sweep you off your feet Dreaming of the day When you could finally Start to feel some kind of complete All the ones that came along Did everything all wrong Treated you like You were never anything To take seriously If you give me the chance I'll be more than just some circumstance And try to give you just what you need I could be the one to cherish you To always let you know I'm there for you To be the rock to hold you up When you feel like you'll fall If you're not afraid you'll fail You might find Heaven in your Hell In these arms that'd carry you If you think you've lost it all I'm not tryin to make you think I'm movin fast Just to help you make a future That lets you forget your past Knowing that the worst parts Of your life are gone If you let me be the one to hold you It could be just like I told you A fairytale come to life before too long I could be the one to cherish you To always let you know I'm there for you To be the rock to hold you up When you feel like you'll fall If you're not afraid you'll fail You might find Heaven in your Hell In these arms that'd carry you If you think you've lost it all If you get yourself down And start to thinkin That there are no good guys around Maybe you should Look to me then Maybe I'm not the kinda guy You're used to The ones that used you Maybe with me, you'd never wonder why I didn't abuse you And you'll not need new Ones to let throw you around Never let you be you It could be that my mama raised me better To at least try to respect a woman And never let her Have to feel I'm some unreal Loser that can't keep it together I could be the one to cherish you To always let you know I'm there for you To be the rock to hold you up When you feel like you'll fall If you're not afraid you'll fail You might find Heaven in your Hell In these arms that'd carry you If you think you've lost it all Or at least lost a lot Lost so much that everything is not Anything like you needed If it's me that makes it seem more Than just a little, maybe that's Just the middle And if you believe in me You'll see, in the end, That I really treated You the way a real woman like you Needs to be treated Not Wanting You, I Just Cannot Pretend Forgive me For ever caring But there is no one else So good Comparing Anything they are to you You are so perfect it scares me You make me breathe just barely And now you're leavin Treatin me unfairly I thought we knew That sometimes forever just can't be forever When two people can't be together Without tellin each other the truth You hoped that you found real love So you could really feel loved But I was holdin back my fears And lyin, sayin I shed no tears for you So, now I can only ask Why did we get caught up In somethin so good it could not be thought of And then let it slip away so fast You want to still be friends But I don't think I can take it My heart, I didn't tell you yet is breakin So everything with you must end I only wanted your friendship No matter how much you meant, and You took it beyond, so shocking But then we almost altogether just stopped talking Not wanting you, I just cannot pretend Maybe after we give some time It might be alright to find Each other once more and begin Back where we started Forgetting that we parted Back when I liked you as more than a friend But I couldn't speak it You left me so very weak, it Felt like I stretched the truth So much, it bent Love crept in But it only lasted So little and went so fast, it Got used up and spent You want to still be friends But I don't think I can take it My heart, I didn't tell you yet is breakin So everything with you must end I only wanted your friendship No matter how much you meant, and You took it beyond, so shocking But then we almost altogether just stopped talking Not wanting you, I just cannot pretend Every second since then Feels like a brand new sentence Sentencing me to a life of bein lonely without you I don't think that I can serve it But maybe I deserve it What did I do If I wasn't perfect I'm sorry I didn't make it worth it And you're probably better off Now that we're through But if I dream I hope that it will seem Like the reality I thought I had with you You want to still be friends But I don't think I can take it My heart, I didn't tell you yet is breakin So everything with you must end I only wanted your friendship No matter how much you meant, and You took it beyond, so shocking But then we almost altogether just stopped talking Not wanting you, I just cannot pretend If you ever pass by me Please do not deny me The chance to finally try to be your friend But I can only be hoping That I'm finally coping And that not wanting you, I can pretend

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