Be It Resolved by Mario V. Farina

They were sitting in the living room of Gladys Brown's modest apartment. The furniture had been arranged in a semi circle so that everyone could see the others as they conversed. "We need to be careful," suggested Judy Harley, "none of us knows how to do a formal resolution, so we must make sure that nothing in it is defamatory."
Be It Resolved
Be It Resolved by Mario V. Farina
"He deserves defamatory," said Virginia Wagner, "but I do understand what you're saying. This resolution is needed, but we shouldn't get into trouble doing it. How can we be sure that he won't sue us?" "I think the most important thing is that everything we say is the truth," Angela Wallace suggested. "On Judge Judy's show, I've seen people suing for defamation of character which was not upheld. Judge Judy said that what the defendant had said was true. There is no problem with truth." The four women had agreed to meet to discuss a way that they could punish Alfred Dunbar for his abominable behavior toward them. All of the women in the group had had encounters with this individual, which they believed had been insulting, unkind, and cruel. They had all dated Alfred for brief periods and had been victims of his offensive behavior. The cover of this book shows the four women. From left to right they are Judy, Angela, Gladys, and Virginia. This picture was taken just after the women had had lunch at Wendy's in Henderson Plaza. They had asked a diner if he would take their picture as they gaily walked to Virginia's car. Judy, who had been his fourth victim had accidentally discovered that there had been three others before her in being Alfred's target for abuse. She communicated with the other three, and this had led to the meeting that they were having at this time. "Does anybody know what are the actual mechanics of doing a resolution?" asked Angela. "I've never done one," said Gladys, "but I know that a resolution needs the date and a title and then a whole bunch of whereases. Each whereas gives a reason that the resolution is being made. I would suggest that each of us include a separate whereas. When Claudia gets here, she can add her own." "She was going to end her date with him early, wasn't she?" asked Virginia. "Yes, she'll be here soon. She is bringing a button that she had a shop make. It says, World Champion Lover Gift to Women," added Angela. "And, she is going to personally pin it on his chest." "I'm sure he's going to be very proud of it!" commented Judy. Virginia began chuckling, and was soon joined by all the rest laughing uproariously. "It's getting late, let's do the resolution now, so that we don't have to worry about it. We will all be meeting here tomorrow at two, and Claudia will bring Alfred on the pretext that some fans of his have arranged a party in his honor. We, of course, will be those fans!" On the next day, the same group was awaiting 2:00 p.m. There was a table set up in the living room with tidbits of various kinds, cookies, crackers, cheeses and dips. There were liquid refreshments of several kinds. When the magic hour arrived, the front door opened, and a young couple walked into the room. Leading, was a beautiful blonde of about twenty. She was holding the hand of a handsome youth, about six feet tall and muscular. He had dark wavy hair, and a small saucy mustache. He was wearing jeans and had on a white shirt. On his shirt was a button with the inscription, World Champion Lover Gift to Women. This was Alfred Dunbar, The Champion, himself. He was smiling broadly. His smile froze when he observed who the people in the room were. He stared from left to right, Judy, Angela, Gladys, Virginia. "Welcome Champ!" cried out all five of the women in unison. "Sit here, Guest of Honor," exclaimed Claudia and led him to an empty chair. "We have a document for you from all of us that will impress you!" Alfred sat, mechanically, obviously in a state of shock. His vision of the women, familiar to him, had stunned him to the point where he was not able to utter a sound. The women moved closer to him, as Virginia produced a document and began reading from it. She enunciated the date at the top of the sheet, then, the rest of what was printed. It read as follows. Subject: denunciation of World Champion Lover Gift to Women, Alfred Dunbar. Whereas Dunbar has shown complete disdain of proper conduct toward women by belittling them in public, and whereas, he has borrowed money without returning it, and whereas he has made dates with women and has not kept them, and whereas he has used profanity in speaking to women, humiliated, deceived, and degraded them, and whereas he has deliberately embarrassed them in front of others, and whereas he ensnared each of us until he got bored, then went on to another, and another, and another. be it resolved, that he be hereby stripped of his title as World Champion Lover Gift to Women and be drummed out of our lives in disgrace. Signed Group of five women, who got mad as hell, and would not take it anymore! We declare him persona non grata, beginning now and continuing for all time. Each of the women had signed her name at the bottom of the document. Virginia stood directly in front of his chair, took hold of the button on his chest, and, with great force, deliberately tore it from his shirt leaving a gash that revealed part of a white undershirt. Virginia moved aside and Claudia took her place. "Rise, former Champion," she ordered. "We will escort you to the exit. And, we'll sing you a song my gram taught me." She handed him a copy of the resolution, then led the way as she and the others sang the words to the song that Woody Guthrie had been famous for, So Long, It's Been Good To Know You! At the door, she opened it, placed her hand at the middle of his back, and gave him a mighty shove.

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