Till I Find You: A Vacillating Novella by Ian Schrauth

My story starts with an iPhone. Not just any iPhone, my first one.

I was sitting in my room, on my phone, when I got a call from one of my friends. Tammy Louis.
Till I Find You: A Vacillating Novella
Till I Find You: A Vacillating Novella by Ian Schrauth
“Hey Gary! Did you get your iPhone yet?” She asked. “Yes! I got it…didn’t I tell you?” I asked, not happy. She has been asking me that for the last week! It’s getting annoying! “Oh yeah… Well, what’s new?” she asked. “Nothing much.” “Going to the Christmas dance?” “No.” I replied. Our school had a dance coming up, and people have been asking me to the dance. I have had five girls ask me to the dance. I said no to every single girl… “Why not?” she asked. “Well…They’re not my style.” I said. She gasped. Not good… when she does that, she either feels insulted, or she feels upset. Ether is not good. She turns into me when I see a spider. I go all ape on it. “Gary! You do know those girls are the hottest girls in the school. They are also the most popular in the school. You let yourself down and rejected to go to the dance with them. I feel ashamed of you.” She said. Yup, she was angry… “Well, there is one reason why I did what I did.” I said. “Why?” I was nervous…I had something to tell, but I didn’t want to say. “Can I call you back? I hear my mom calling me for supper.” “Sure.” she said and hung up. It wasn’t that I was lying, it was that mom was calling me for dinner. I rushed downstairs to the dinner table, and found food sitting on the plates. There was chicken, mashed potatoes, and Green Beans. Yum… “Ready to eat Gary?” My mom – Britney – and she has a special place in my heart. She is sweet, kind, and she loves the world. Now my dad on the other hand… ugh… My dad left me when I was only five, and I remember clearly what happened. “GARY!” he yelled at my doorway. “How many times do I have to tell you that Barbie dolls are for girls! I was five at the time, and I did not know any better than to play with Barbie or with G. I. Joe dolls. I had a passion for Barbie dolls at the time. My dad stomped into my room, and took the dolls from my hands. He took the other stuff I was paying with, and stormed out of the room, leaving me there. “FREDRICK! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” I heard my mom yell. “HE IS A BOY! HE IS NOT GOING TO GROW UP TO BE A FAGGOT!” I hear dad yell. I then heard a crash on the ground – like the toys were crashing – and I heard a SMACK! “FREDRICK HECKERSON!” Mom yelled “Why would you lay your hands on me!” I then heard another smack, and then a crash. “YOU KNOW WHAT?! I’M OUT! YOU’RE SON CAN JUST GROW UP TO BE A FAG! HE IS A FAG!” And those words haunted me for a long time. Until now… Through the course of my elementary school years, I had thought about girls and how cute they are. Even had a couple crushes on some girls too. I took things seriously back then, and I heard something from someone that changed my life… It was sixth grade, and Math class was over. I heard one of the girls sat next to me “Eww! Andrew is gay!” “He is?” I asked. “Yeah. Will you go on a date with me?” he asked. Those words. Those nine words stuck in my mind for a long time, and it got me thinking for a long time. From sixth grade until now – and that is my JUNIOR year of high school – I had thought about my sexuality. That Andrew kid was hot, but was I in love with him? And that is when I realized something… I was gay. (Andrew turned out to be straight, so that made me sad a little) Enough with my boring memories… back on track! I sat down in the chair, and my twin sister – Jenny – sat next to me. Jenny… she is the only one I can trust since he left. Other than mom. Well, they’re the only ones in the house… I was the only boy in the house. Not including the dog. And he thinks he’s gay because he thinks he’s a cat. So…we’re similar…in a way… “Want to say grace Gary?” Mom asked me. “Not tonight.” I said. I am not that religious, so I didn’t offer to fake myself into being religious. “I will.” Jenny said. After jenny had said Gary, we dug into our meal. I wasn’t that hungry to eat, because I had something on my mind. Well, I haven’t told my mother or my sister yet that I was gay, so I think it might be appropriate to tell them now. “Is everything OK?” Mom asked me. “You look sad.” “No. It’s not ok.” I said. “What’s wrong?” Mom asked. “Well…” I started to say. I had to do it. It felt like there was a weight sitting on my chest, since that day, and I could not pull it off. I had to man up… and pull the weight off with all my strength. And tell them the truth! “Mom… Will you love me for anything?” I asked. “Yes. I will still love you if you kill someone.” She said. Damn… “Now, who is bullying you.” She asked. “Nobody.” I said. “Then what’s wrong?” Jenny asked. I couldn’t help it. I began to cry… I could feel the weight getting stronger. “Mom… Jenny…” I started to say. I was going it. “I’m gay.” They were silent for a moment. “Gary, we know.” Mom said. Wait one minute, they KNEW?! I CRIED FOR NOTHING! GOD DAMN! “How?” I asked, wiping off my tears. “Ever since you started to play with Barbies, I knew that you might be gay.” Mom said and held my hand. “It will be ok. I think you’re in a phase.” Oh great… not that phase thing again… Everyone talks about that ALL THE TIME! Oh, it’s just a phase and oh, it will pass… Ugh. Don’t they know how much of a struggle it is to be gay? “I don’t think so.” I said to mom. “Why?” “I have thought this way since sixth grade.” I said. Now the weight just flew into space. Jenny’s eyes opened wide. “When Andrew pretended to ask you out?” Oh my lord! How does she know? “How do you—” “I saw it. You looked starstruck after he walked away.” Oh shit… “Bottom line is… you finally told us. And you should be happy.” Mom said. “What if they find out at school?” I asked. “Keep your mouth shut and lie. The best way to deal with that school.” Jenny said. Chapter 2 School… the worst place in the world. Not that I hate the school…ok, I do hate the school. The school is full of potheads, and sexaholics. There is this one girl who wanted sex with me last year. Oh my god…Don’t get me started… Jenny and I walked into the school, and we walked down the large hallway. “Gary, everything will be OK.” Jenny said. “Just don’t tell anyone you’re gay.” Wait, did she just say that? “Well, I could keep it a secret… but you keep saying it out loud.” I smarted back. “Oh.” I walked away from her presents, and headed into a room. The room was an abandoned classroom that was too small to fit the kids that we had, and I sat in there first block and slept. When I sat my stuff on the ground, I got a call from Tammy. “Hey girl!” I answered. “So, you got an iPhone?” she asked. Seriously? “Yes, for the fifth time. Stop asking!” I said. “Oh…” “Yeah.” I replied as the bell rang. “Well, I got to go. Time for me to take a nap.” “Why?” She asked. “Well, because of the only good thing that happened. They didn’t schedule me a first block, so I go into room 126 and nap.” “Oh yeah.” She said. “Well… bye.” And hung up. I set my alarm for eighty five minutes, and sat my backpack on the ground where my head shall lay. I laid my head down on the ground, and thought about school. Would I get bullied by those kids about me being gay? But how would they find out? I just hope they don’t. That is all I thought of… I like my first period. * * * I woke up to the sound of someone crashing on the ground. The sound of a human body always scares me after the incident when I was younger. “Ouch.” I heard someone say. Wait, someone found me? “Who’s there?” I asked. It was dark in the classroom, so I could not see a thing. “Who are you?” the person asked. “Who the hell are you?” I asked. “It doesn't matter. I thought I walked into the bathroom, but I was wrong. Where are we?” “We’re in an abandoned classroom.” I said. “You might have come in here by accident.” “Oh.” The person said. “Are you hiding in here from the school?” “Yes.” I lied. “Yeah. I hate everyone in this school.” The person said. That person sounded perfect! I didn’t know if they were a boy or girl, but I couldn’t tell by the voice. It sounded like they were a girl. “Well, I better get going.” They said and heard a loud crack as they got up. “Stay!” I said and reached out like I was going to grab her. Actually, the person was right next to me, and they went crashing down on me. “You want me to stay?” they asked. “Yeah.” I replied. After I said that, I felt something touch my lips. A gentle kiss touched my lips. That was the first time I had been kissed, and it felt weird. I didn't know if it was a boy or a girl, but I hope they were a male. “Did you just kiss me?” I asked. “Yes.” They said, laying another kiss on my lips. But this time, it was longer. We were soon just making out, when they stopped. Why did that person stop? “Why did you stop?” I asked. “Because I have to get back to class.” They said and got up. I heard footsteps walk to the door. “Will we meet again?” I asked. “Oh, I’m sure. I will never be the same, if we ever meet again.” They said and walked out. Really? Timbaland? I just laid on the floor for a while. I didn’t know what to do… What just happened? Whatever it was, I needed a bucket load more of that! * * * My alarm had rung, and it was five minutes before the bell was going to ring soon. I took out my flashlight, and scooped up my things. While I was getting up, my flashlight shined on an ID. It was our school ID. We had to wear them wherever we go. It had a name! Jordan Haney. That must be her. But then again, Jordan is a name that boys and girls can use. I know a Jordan Foster, who is a boy (and hot) and I know a Jordan Risner, who is my sister’s BFF. Maybe Facebook might explain something… Whoever it is, I want to meet them. * * * I was sitting in math class taking notes. It was the last block of the day, I hate it. The students in there are the worst! Except two. Tammy and Nasya. Tammy is the one who I talked out on the phone, and Nasya is a Muslim girl who is not so talkative she is one of the quiet ones. “Now, get out your laptops. Do interact math section 10.2, questions 1-36.” The teacher, Mrs. Ron, said and went to her computer. We brought out our laptops, and did we Interact Math… except me… I went to interact math, but I opened a new tab and went to Facebook to search that mysterious girl from before. I typed in the name in the search bar, and one result popped up. I clicked on the result, and the profile picture was a picture of some anime character, and when I went to more info, there was no gender set. I went through the news feeds, and found nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing…. “Gary!” Mrs. Ron yelled. “Get to work.” Ugh… I have to do math… “Shouldn’t you write him up?” I heard the helper say to Mrs. Ron. “Yes, I totally forgot.” she said and wrote me up. “Your detention will be tomorrow Gary.” FUCK! Chapter 3 Well, the math class came to an end, and we were all just talking. I was sitting on my computer when Tammy came up to me. “Hey Gary.” she said. “Want to come over after school today?” “Sure.” I said. “I have someone you might want to meet.” “Who? Mitch?” Well, that was a stupid thing to say…I know him, but I don’t know him. “No. He’s a discussing boy, and I do not want to talk about him.” she said. “Well, OK.” I said. “Why?” She looked at me, like I was dumb… “I just said…” she said. “Oh.” The bell then rang, and I headed out to the bus. The bus was not that crowded when I got on, and when I sat in my usual spot, I saw Jenny sit behind me. “Hey there.” She said. “What’s new?” “Well, I’m going over to Tammy’s house today after school.” I said. “Just don’t have me take you over there.” * * * We got off the bus as soon as it came to a stop at our neighborhood. And we headed home. “Hello Gary. Hello Jenny. How was your day?” Mom asked as we walked in. She was watching the Murray show while on her phone. “Good.” I lied. “Hey, can I go to Tammy’s today?” I asked. “Sure.” She replied. “What time do you have to leave?” “Probably now.” “Jenny, can you take him?” Mom asked. She rolled her eyes. “Sure.” She groaned and got her car keys. “C’mon stud muffin.” Ugh… I hate that nickname! Why did she have to call me that?! I followed Jenny to her car, and hopped in. “Why did she have you come over now?” She asked. “She wanted me to meet someone.” I said. “Who?” “I don’t know, she didn’t say.” * * * We reached Tammy’s house in a little over two minutes, and I got out. “What time do I need to pick you up?” She asked. “I will call.” “OK. Bye.” She said and drove off. I walked up to the door, and rang the doorbell. Tammy answered. “Hey Gary! Come on in!” I walked into the house, and into her room. In there, there was Carrie – Tammy’s sister – and some strange boy that I had never met before. “Who’s he?” I asked. “He goes by X.” she said. I walked up to X, and he looked up at me. His face was like diamonds, his eyes were like pearls, and his skin was like platinum. Wait, did I just describe him with some of the Pokemon game names? You know, Pokemon Diamond, Pearl, and Platinum? No? Ok then… “Hey, I’m Gary.” I said and shook his hand. “Hey, I’m X.” he said and shook my hand. His hand was so soft. I had a feeling he was gay. “Gary? I have something to ask you.” Tammy asked. “Sure.” “Are you gay?” Oh shit… “Yeah.” I blurted out. “Why?” “We figured that because you only hang around us, and, no offense, you have sort of a girly voice.” How dare she call my voice girly! “I do?” I asked. “Yeah.” Tammy replied. “That’s nothing bad, it’s just that it makes you unique.” Well, that's a good way to put that I'm a queer… “Well, I’m gay too.” X said. WHAT?! OH MY GOD! “You are?” I asked. “Yes.” That was my move! I sat next to him, and asked, “Well, what are we doing here?” “To talk about shit.” Jenny said. Great way to put it… Chapter 4 Soon, they time came to an end. I REALY enjoyed that! I needed that because of all of the stress going on in my life right now. From that boy disappearing, to Advanced acting… Yea, I have that…. And it’s not fun… When X and I walked out of the door, X said to me, “Want me to drive you home?” “Sure.” I replied as we headed to his car. He held the door open for me, and I climbed on in. His car was nice! It had leather seats, and it was all red inside. It was like a rich person’s car. X climbed into the driver’s side, and stared up the car. It made a loud roaring sound that vibrated the wide windows. “Like it?” He asked. “Very much.” I said, felling the pouch next to me. “My dream is to have my first kiss in this car, watching one of those drive in movies, but I know that it’s not my time yet.” He said as he stared to drive off. Is that a hint that he wants me? Naw…. As he was driving, I told him where my house was. I could not stop looking at him. He was just so hot…From his head, to his toes…How could he not be in a relationship? He’s just so…good looking. “Hey, are you in a relationship?” I asked. He looked at me. “Why?” “Because…Well….I can see you being in one.” I said. “Calling me hot?” Uh oh… “Well, I’m just saying by your personality, you could be in one.” I lied. “Well, I recently had a breakup with a boy named Jack, and that was about three weeks ago.” He said. “Ouch…” “I know, but I’m trying to stay away from relationships for a while.” he said as he stopped the car. “Well, are we here?” I looked out the window, and we were. “Thanks.” I said and got out of the car. Before I closed the door, X called my name. “Yea?” I asked. “Hey, do you have Facebook?” he asked. Wow, that quick? “Yea.” I said. “Name?” “Gary Heckerson.” “Well, I’ll add you.” He said and reached to close the door. He couldn’t reach it, and I closed it for him. “Bye!” he yelled though the glass and drove away. Holy crap! When Tammy told me that she was going to introduce me to someone, I didn’t know that he would be that hot! That body….oh my god! Any boy would be able to get him! When I walked into the house, I entered my mother’s bedroom. She was on her phone, probably on Facebook. “Hey! How was it?” she asked. “It was good.” I replied. “I met someone.” “Who?” “He goes by X.” I replied. “That’s good, now get to bed.” Damn… I walked to my room, and changed into my night cloths. I still couldn’t get over the fact on hot he was. When I got into my bed, I checked my phone for the last time, and saw a notification form Facebook. Did he add me already? X theMan wants to be your friend. Really? “X theMan?” REALLY? But I do have to give him credit…that is creative… Sorta… I slid to unlock, and took a look at his profile. There were multiple picture shared about the LGBT community, about the sad story of Leelah Alcorn, and most to fall, his breakup Well, me and Jack are separated. Well, it looks like I will be single for the rest of my life now. Was he doing this to get attention? He’s hot enough to NOT be single, so why is he saying this nonsense? I decided just to accept his friend request and go to bed. Sleeping away… From your bullshit… Bye bitch! Chapter 5 The next day came like a blur, and it was lunch time at school, and everyone headed down to the café to eat, but I headed to the library. I was going to see X. When I arrived in the library, I saw the library secretary. She is the nicest person in the world! If only everyone was as nice as she is. “Hello Gary!” She greeted. “How are you?” “I’m good. And yourself?” “Never been better.” I signed into the book, and I headed over to the girls I hang out with at lunch. Tammy, Emily, Madison, Rachel, and Jessie. “Hey Gary.” Tammy said. “Hey, I’m meeting someone here, so we won't be able to talk.” I said. “OK.” Jessie said. I departed the location, and walked around the library. “Gary!” I heard someone whisper. I looked around me, and found nobody. Now who could have said my name? God? Nah… “Gary!” I heard another whisper call. I looked behind me, and I found X. I should have known… “Hey.” I greeted. “What did you want to meet me here for?” “I was wondering… do you want to go out to eat sometime?” he asked. Wow, did he just ask me out on a date? Or… naw… “Like a date?” I asked. “Yes.” Knew it! There is only one answer to this. And that is a big fat YES. “Sure.” I replied. Well, step one is complete… “Good! I will see you at four.” He said and walked out. Four? That’s when detention ends… * * * Ah, the end of the day… The worst of the bunch… I headed out of my classroom, and headed into the detention room. In there, there was desks facing a wall, and the teacher’s desk was by the door. This was also the ISS room… “Name.” The teacher said. “Gary Heckerson.” She typed something into the computer, and said, “Go to desk three. They’re labeled.” I headed to desk three, and sat down. I was facing a blank wall, and all I could do was homework. Great, I had no homework. “If you have no homework, then you can write an essay on what you did, and how you cannot do it. And it has to be ten pages.” He said. “If you don’t finish, you will do it the next day when you will have another detention.” Oh my god! She did not just say that! “An essay?” I asked. “Yup.” “Can I do it on my laptop?” I asked. “No, do it on these lined pieces of paper.” He demanded and threw it on the floor. Nothing like giving it to me buddy… I got up from my seat, grabbed the pieces of paper and just stared at it as I sat down. How was I going to do this?! “Hey Gary.” I heard a boy say as he sat next to me. It was X! “Hey.” I whispered. “You have detention too?” “Well, duh! Why else would I be here?” “Touché.” “Hey, no talking!” the teacher yelled. God, shut up! “Well, we better get to work.” X said. * * * “OK, detention is over.” The teacher said. OK, detention wasn’t that bad, and I got it done with the paper! Yay for me! I got done with it five minutes before detention came to an end. Not like I meant anything I wrote... I got up, and handed him the paper. “Got it done.” I said. “Good job.” He said. “Now get out.” Oh wow… getting a little sassy there… I walked out of the room, and passed the library. It was still open…I think… I tried to go in, but They walked out with jenny. “Ready?” she asked. “How did you…” “I have my sources.” She said. “Come on, let’s go.” As we were walking to her car, X came up to me. “Ready to go?” He asked. I totally forgot! “Where are you two going?” Jenny asked. “A date.” I replied.. Her eyes opened wide. “Does mom know about this?” “We just planted it today.” I said. “Oh.” She said and walked off. “Well, I will tell mom you’re hanging out with Tammy. Have fun.” “Where do you want to go?” He asked. “How about Pasta house?” “Sure.” I followed him to his car, and he held the door open for me. I think he might be in love with me. He got into the driver’s side, and he drove off. “So, how do you like this school?” “I fucking hate it.” I said. “I hate it with a passion.” “Why?” “Because all of those kids are either whores, smarties, or show offs. That explains the school.” I said. “I felt the same way about my old high school.” He said. “What school did you go to?” “Oakville High School. It’s in Oakville, Misouri. Which is in St. Louis, Missouri. “Cool.” I said. I heard of that place! I had a friend named grace Reid who goes there! We reached the pasta house in a short notice, and we got out of the car. It wasn’t far from the school at all. We entered The Pasta House and found a lot of people in the place. It had the smell of pasta, and it made me hungry. And that kids is why they call it the pasta house. “Welcome. Table for two?” She asked. “Yup.” He said and wrapped his arm around my waist. I could feel myself getting a warm feeling in myself. “Right this way.” We walked to the booth that she supplied to us, and we sat down. She put menus in front of us, and said, “Your waiter will be out shortly.” She left us, and I looked at the menu. There was so much to choose from. I was hungry, and I could not decide what item I should get. I had that strange feeling that someone was looking at me, so I looked away from my menu and saw that X was staring at me. “Has anyone ever told you, you have the most precious eyes ever?” he asked. Oh wow… nobody has ever said that to me! They all think I’m ugly. “No, nobody has.” I replied. The waiter the came up and said, “Welcome, my name is Gabby, and I will be your waiter. Can I start you with something to drink?” “How about sprite?” I asked. “Sure. And you?” “A coke.” “Sure thing.” she said and walked off. “So, tell me about yourself.” X said. “Other than me being gay, there is nothing to know about me. I’m kind of a dull person.” I said. “Well, I have to say you are a very sweet person. That says something about you.” He said. Is he flirting with me? “Well, you seem like a kind and respectful person.” I said. Danmit, I meant to say hot and sexy! He had a straight face, and then he said, “Oh… well…. People tend to stay away from me.” “Why?” “Well, some people think I’m just a creepy person.” “You’re not creepy.” I said. “Bullshit. But whatever you say.” “Society has made you think that and you can't let that happen.” I said. “As he was about to speak, the waiter came with our drinks. “Have you decided?” She asked. “Yes. I will have the lasagna.” He said. She turned to me and asked, “And you?” “Same.” “OK, coming right up.” She said and left. When she was out of sight, X looked at me and said, “OK. I have one thing to say. I think you should stay away from me after today because I can be kinda crazy.” “How?” I asked. “You don’t want to know.” “I can take anything.” I said. OK, not anything. “No. I won't say.” “Fine.” I said and brought out my phone. “Seriously? You’re on your phone on a date?” “Well, you told me to stay away from you.” I said without looking up. “After today I said.” He said. “We should talk now.” I put my phone away, and looked at him. “What should we talk about?” He was silent. “How about—” “OK, here is your food.” I heard the waiter say as she handed us our food. It looked good. We ate in silence. It was not the type of silence that people like; it was the awkward silence… Chapter 6 “Well, that was a good meal.” I said as I put my fork down after the last bite. We soon finished our meal. It was a good meal “Yea, it was good!” X said as he put his fork down. Gosh, he ate that FAST! “That was fast.” I said. “It was only ten minutes.” “Well, I am a pig.” He said. “You hardly have eaten your meal.” He said. What was he talking about? I have eaten three-fourths of my meal? “I’m not that hungry.” I said. “Well, I guess you could take it home.” He said and called over the waiter. “Yes?” she asked. “One leftover dish, and the check.” He said. “Sure.” She replied and left. I looked at X, and said, “OK, why do I need to stay away from you? You seem like a nice guy.” “Well, I have reasons.” He said. “What type?” “Bad reasons.” He said. “I can take anything.” I said. “Fine… Truth is… I’m always craving sex.” What? The thought made me hurt a little. Oww… “OK, so here is your check.” She said and handed it to X. Jordan got out his debit card, and handed it to her. “Thanks.” She said and walked away. When she was out of sight, I looked at X and said, “I highly doubt you’re a whore.” “You’re just saying that.” He said. “No, I mean it.” He smiled at me. “Well, I guess you're telling the truth.” “OK, here is your receipt.” The waiter said as she walked up to us and handed him the receipt. “Have a good day.” We got up from our table, and waked out of the building. We got into X’s car, and he turned on the engine. “So, want to come over to my house?” Oh wow… that quick? But do I really want to test his… pleasures? “Not tonight. My sister has her dance show tonight and my parents want me to go.” I lied. Yeah, jenny doesn’t dance, but oh well… “Well, maybe some other time.” He said and started to drive off. * * * We arrived at my house, and he parked his car right in front of the driveway. It was eight o’clock, very late. “Well, thanks for a good night.” I said and smiled at him. He smiled back. “Hey, it was a pleasure eating with you.” I wanted to kiss him, but then again, I didn’t want to because I knew it would be trouble. So, I got out of the car, and headed inside. “Gary? Is that you?” Mom yelled. “Yes.” I yelled back. “How was hanging with Tammy?” She yelled. Just as planed… hehe… “It was good.” I replied and headed into mom’s room. She was laying on her bed, on her phone. Possibly Facebook…as usual. “What did you do?” “Well, we went out to eat at the pasta house.” I said. “You know, just as friends.” “Yeah, I know.” She said. “Well, you better get to bed, mister.” Chapter 7 That night, I was asleep, and a sound woke me up. It sounded like a rock being thrown at my window… I headed to the window, and X was at the window. I quickly went over the window and opened it. His brown hair draped over his eyes, I realized that he wears glasses. He looked hot! He smiled at me and winked. OK… “So… Do you like my new look?” He says. Flipping his hair and flashing his brown eyes at me. Very hot indeed. He showed off his perfectly straightened, glistening white teeth. I bit my bottom lip and gave off a giggle. Okay... I’m not a third grader. “What are you doing here, X?” I asked. “It’s one in the morning!” He climbed into my room, jumped on my bed causing it to squeak loudly. Great…All I need is for Jenny to be woken up by this guy. And why is he even in my room?! What the heck?! “Are you trying to wake up everyone?!” I whispered at him. He only grinned and giggled in response. “Awe…Come on Gary, you love this!” he stretched out on the bed, having my cover fallen to the floor… I smiled and blushed, maybe I don't want him to stay… “Can you stay with me until I fell asleep?” I asked him. “Sure.” He said and grabbed the covers over to let me in. Before I joined him, I turned off the lights, and hopped on the bed. I laid my head on his chest. * * * I woke up at 5AM tangled in his arms, he was still asleep. He looked so peaceful, so I stayed where I was. I did not want to wake him with my movement. I leaned in on him and took a deep breath and stroked his hair. I never realized how beautiful he really was. I smiled and landed a kiss on the tip of his nose, his eyes snapped open instantly. His brown eyes met mine, my ugly, chocolate hair blocked my sight a little, and he took a deep breath. He leaned in, Preparing to kiss me. I took a deep, exciting breath, and kissed him back. “Good morning Jordan.” I said. The reason I said that was because I had a dream I met Jordan, and I was still a little in the dream world. He freaked out, and I fell off of the bed. I went crashing to the ground. “Why did you call me Jordan?” he asked, freaked out and getting impatient. I got up and touched his face, looking deep into my eyes. “I didn’t call you Jordan, you never heard that name run away from my mouth” He looked suspicious. “Well, if you insist.” He said and got on a shirt. He must have taken it off, or it fell off. “Leaving?” I asked. “Yes, we have school.” He said and opened up the window. “Bye.” “Bye.” I said as he jumped out the window and ran home. Now what was that about? Was his real name Jordan? Chapter 8 The next morning, I went to church. OK, so I am not that religious, but my parents made me…Well, I went to the youth group that the church has, and it is full of hot boys, and nice girls. “Welcome back Gary!” I hard Mrs. Leyla say. Mrs. Layla is the best woman – other than my mother – that I have ever met in my entire life! She is kind, sweet, and most of all, she is caring for us! She is the reason that I go to this youth group! And her Russian accent as well! “Good to be back Mrs. Leyla!” I said as I sat next to the boy who I had a crush on. His name is Justin Brown, and I have NO idea if he is day or not. While we were all talking, everyone kept coming in. But before I knew it, Tammy came in, and she had MITCH BLACK with her! Oh…my…gosh! Justin looked at her, and his eyes grew sad. Is he in love with her? Because it sure seems like it! Darn, I thought he was gay! Well, he could be bisexual… Nah… Tammy sat next to me, and Mitch sat next to Tammy. They were holding hands…Why? We’re in church! Not at my high school! “Hey Tammy.” Justin said. “Hey there.” She replied. “What’s up?” “Nothing.” “Well, I think we should start now.” Mrs. Leyla said. “Tell me…how was your week?” Tammy raised her hand, and Mrs. Leyla called on her. “School is going out soon!” Tammy said. Oh yea! Winter break is just two weeks away! “Well, that’s good!” she said. “Anybody else?” Some weird kid named Ethan raised his hand and said, “Well, my advanced acting class is getting worse.” “Tell us more about it. I know that it is a problem with you.” “You can’t forget me.” Tammy said. “But Ethan has it worse.” “You’re in it too?” “Yup.” Damn…Didn’t resize tammy had it hard. “Well, there was this kid who had said that he would miss the class, and I whispered to Tammy that he was crazy and I got a write up.” He said. “It was a good thing tammy defended me and got me out of the detentions he sent me to.” Her eyes opened wide. “You do know, your parents can sue for that.” “My father is involved with the law, and he can get us a thousand dollar lawyer for free. That scared them…Twice.” “Twice?” I asked. “Yea.” Once I read the bible in class and the principle was going to suspend me.” Holy crap! Now I know my school sucks! “OK, today’s topic is just like last Sunday’s topic, being a follower and not a fan of Jesus.” Mrs. Leyla said. * * * When the bible study was over, we all left the area, and I headed to the front of the church. Mom and Jenny were waiting for me. “How was it?” Mom asked. “Good.” Before we walked out, Tammy came up to me. “Hey, wanna come over?” she asked. I looked at mom, and she said, “Go ahead.” And walked out. Wait, you’re going to leave me here? What about me changing into something else?! Ugg… “Sure.” I said. I followed Tammy out of the church, and we headed into her car. I sat in the front seat, while Tammy sat in the back with Mitch. Their parents, Tilly and Rick Louis, got into the car, and they started to drive off. The car ride was utter silence, until Mrs. Louis asked Tammy, “So, what do you kids plan on doing?” “Well, Mitch is going home, and Gary and I are going to do some math homework.” She said. I had that strange feeling she was lying… * * * When we arrived at Tammy’s house, I headed into her room. Her room was shared with Carrie – her sister – and she sat me down in the desk. “I need you to know something.” She said. “First, I need help with some of my homework, but that’s not important. What is, is that your lover, X, well, he is dangerous.” Huh? “Why?” I asked. “Well, explain this post.” She said and turned on her computer monitor. She went on X’s Facebook page, and showed me a post.” * The thing I want the most…you don’t want to know * Oh my gosh…Please don’t tell me what I think he wants… Sex? “Sex?” I asked. She nodded, and then said, “Yup. His last boyfriend dumped him because he CONSTANTLY asked for sex, and Carrie told me that, F.Y.I.” “Anything else?” “Well, Carrie did tell me he went into that abandoned room once. I don’t know what he was going to do in there.” She said. That got me suspicious… Is Jordan Haney actually X? Chapter 9 Sunday passed like a blur, and it was already Monday. God, the worst day of the week. It starts another process of hell… Well, not for all of those son of a bitches… Whatever… I walked into the front of the school, and entered the gym. That was where I saw Tammy talking to her sister, Carrie. “Hey Tammy.” I said. “What’s up?” “My parents don’t approve of me now being in a relationship with Mitch.” Well, who would? He’s a creepy son of a bitch… “Sorry to hear.” I said.” Well, that was the nicest thing to say about a guy who is creepy as hell and my BFF is in a relationship with him. Maybe they’ll grew up to have kids as weird as him… “And the worst part is that I have Advanced Acting today.” She said. Oh god… Not that class… “Well, I wish you the best of luck.” I said and walked off. Well, that was a good friend… As I was walking, I ran into Jessie – Tammy’s friend. I have known Jessie for a while – since I knew Tammy – and she can be a bitch sometimes… Well, to me…not to Tammy… “Hey there.” She said. “Wanna to go to the mall with us tonight?” Us? Mind being more specific you bitch? “With who?” I asked. I do NOT like her gut… “So far, its, Mitch, Taylor, Emily, Madison, and Rachel so far. I don’t know if I can go.” “I’ll tell you later.” I said and walked off. Why was she offering me to go to the mall with her? She doesn’t like me…I don’t think… Oh well, let’s not answer. * * * I was soon sitting in the library at lunch. It is the last part of my day, and then I go on the busses…for B days… Thank the fucking lord! “So, how was Advanced acting?” Jessie asked. “A kid named Ethan and I got written up.” She said. “Not surprising, because the teacher is an ass hole.” I replied. “What happened?” Jessie asked. “Well, Ethan said his opinion, and she took it as an,” she started to air quote “offense.” “Well, that teacher is a fucking bitch anyway.” Rachel said. “Tell me about it.” I said. As we were talking, Jessie asked Tammy about the mall, and I passed to go. I didn’t want to go with no bitches… Except Tammy… The bell then rang, and we all headed to the bus. I got on my bus, and sat next to jenny. She was on her phone. On Facebook. STALKING X! “Why are you stalking my crush?” I asked. “Well, I figured if he’s going to be your husband, I might as well get to know him…and by the sound of him, he would be more like your friend with benefits.” She said. Oh my… I never thought of it that way… He could! What if he wants me for sex? And not for me? I got out my phone, and dialed his number. “Hi Gary.” He said. “Want to come over tonight?” “We need to talk.” “What is it?” he asked. “I was thinking. This might not be the truth, but are you only into me just to be a F.W.B with me?” He was silent. “No, I like you. And I was going to ask if you wanted to come over and help me pack. I have a trip for the school newspaper that I need to go to and mom is out of town.” Oh… He DOESN’T’T want sex… “Sure.” I said. “Good. I’ll wait for you at your stop.” He said. What the fuck? Is he being a creep? “Bye.” I replied. He then hung up, and I looked at my sister. “What the fuck does he want now?” she asked. “Well, he wants me to come over to his house and help him pack.” I said. “This sounds like a trap.” “He needs me to help him pack because he’s going on a trip with his school newspaper.” Her eyes opened wide. “He’s on the journalism team?!” “I guess…” She took out a copy of the school newspaper, and asked me, “What does he specialize in?” “He didn’t say.” She looked through the paper, and said, “I found him!” I rushed over to her seat as some of the kids were getting off, and I noticed it WAS him. But there was one thing. I think his real name IS X! Because it shows his picture, and it shows his name as “Mister X” “Is his name really X?” Jenny asked. “I guess so.” We soon arrived at our stop, and when we got off, I saw X waiting his car by the stop. “Hey there!” X said and waved. Just like he said… “How come you can get all the fucking boys and I can’t even get one?” Jenny added “Because I’m hotter than you.” I said and got in his car. “Tell mom I’m hanging out with X.” “Whatever. Have fun.” She said and walked away. *** When we reached X’s house, we walked in, and the place was dead quiet. I mean, QUIET! It was like he was the only one living here. I mean, he is…for a little bit. “Where are your parents?” I asked. I mean, who knows who he brings over. He could be a teenwhore… “Oh, they work together and they’re in New York with their work.” He said and led me to his room. It hasn’t changed one bit… “When do you leave?” I asked. “When they come back.” He replied. “Tomorrow.” I saw that he had a suit case filled with some cloths in it. So he was telling the truth… I helped him choose out some good cloths, and when we were done, he sat down on his bed next to me, and asked, “I’ve been wanting to do this for a while. I haven’t kissed you yet, but…” He wants to make out? “You want to kiss me?” I asked. “Yes.” He replied. Oh my gosh… Not my first kiss, but hey…might as well get kissed by the one you think is cute. “How do you want to do it?” I asked and scooted closer to him. I glazed my hand across hus arm, and holding it at his hand. “I mean, I want to pin you down, and make the fuck out with you.” He said. I laid down with my back on the bed, and said, “As long as a nothing goes in me, let’s do it.” I could see a smile rise on his face, and he got over me, his pinned my hands on either side of my head, and lowered his lips to mine. It was a slow pace make-out session, and it was just…simply enjoyable. I mean, I think he’s cute! His lips felt like the ocean was pressing against my lips, and his hands felt smooth. I could tell he was nerves, because his hands were a little sweaty. First kisses may be like this. I could see a smile form on his face, and he reached down a took off my shirt. I was sort of a slender kid, and I didn’t think he would like it. He then sat me up, and sat on my lap, so his feet were wrapped around mine. He reached his face back to mine and started to make out with me. I could tell that he was horny as fuck… I wrapped my arms around him like I was hugging him, and continued with the session. This was just too much for me to handle! I pushed down on the bed with his legs still rapped around mine, and pinned him down. I pushed my lips to his, and he turned me over, so he was back on top of me. Except that his legs were trapping mine. I couldn’t stand this anymore! I was turning into a teenwhore! I pushed him off me, and said, “I think this is enough.” “Why? We were having so much fun.” “If I continue, then painful things would happen.” I said. Yeah, I don’t want to loose my golden coin! “Do you want to take a nap?” He doesn’t give up. Hashtag teenwhore! Teenwhore confirmed! I laid my head on his pillow, and he laid his head on my chest. He hugged me, and said, “Gary, I like you.” As in…Crush? “As in, I’m your crush?” I asked. “Yes.” Oh gosh! This is a first! “Thank you.” I said, “You’re hot too.” Chapter 10 RING! What the fuck was that? RING! “What is that?” X asked as le looked up. He had a tired tone in his voice, like he was out cold. We took a nap together… Jealous? I know you are! Maybe not… I looked around, and I noticed my phone was ringing. When I looked at the number, my heart sank. Someone is calling that if I answer, things wont be good… Mom… “Hello?” I asked as I answered the phone, trying to sound as awake as possible. “Are you at your friends house?” Mom asked. “Yeah. Why?” “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME! I AM SITTING HERE WORRYING SICK ABOUT YOU BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T COME HOME ON THE BUS! DID YOU TELL JENNY?” she yelled. I had to scoot the phone away form my ear it was so loud. Geeze… “Yeah, she knows.” “JENNY!” Mom yelled. “COME HERE NOW! We’ll talk later.” Mom said and hung up. “Who was that?” X asked as he got up. He had his hair in a complete mess! It looked kind of hot… “My mother. She’s worried sick about me being gone.” I replied. I looked at the time, and it was already eight o’clock at night. How long were we out? “What time did we start to nap?” I asked. “About three thirty. “Why?” I pointed to his clock, and his eyes opened wide. “You better get home.” He said as we got up. I put my shirt back on, and he gave me a kiss on the lips. “Come on, I’ll take you home.” *** When I got out of his car, he drove off, and I walked into the house. Mo was sitting on the couch on her phone. “Gary Heckerson! What exact did you do over at his house?!” she asked, not turning around. “Helped him pack.” “Bullshit.” WHAT?! She doesn’t believe me? “It’s true mom.” Jenny said as she walked down. “X even said.” “Who?” “My friend. He goes by X.” I replied. “Well, tell me when you’re going out. Ok?” Since when did she get so protective? “Fine. Whatever.” I said and went to my room. I locked the door to my room, and sat on my bed. That make out session had me fucked up. I mean, I was just lost! I couldn’t stop thinking about that! What better way to stop thinking about something is to read. I brought out “Damaged” by H.M. Ward, and started. Chapter 11 The next morning was just like any other morning – getting in the shower, eating breakfast, and heading to school – but when I got to school, I walked to my locker, and there was a guy who was blocking my way. “Excuse me, get out of my way.” I said without looking up. When I did, I noticed I made a mistake… That bully. The one who pickled on me and Tammy during math class. Stupid cunt… “Where do you think you’re going, fag boy?” he asked. Fag boy? How did he find out? “Bitch! Stay away from my brother!” I heard Jenny yell as she pushed me out of the way and pulled his shirt so there faces met. “Bitch, don’t you know who you’re messing with?” he asked and pushed her back. Jenny brought something out of her backpack, and pointed it at him. She pressed dusting, and it made an electrical sound. She has a fucking Taser?! When the hell did she get THAT?! The bully backed dup, and said, “Hey, we were just –” “Bullshit! You bully Tammy Louis! You bully my brother! Now it’s time for you to be bullied!” she said and attempted to taze him. She did fail, because he ran away. “Well, it looks like they’re not that big of bullies after all.” She said and put her tazer in her backpack. “Thanks sis.” I said. “Sure.” She replied and walked away. What? That’s it? Well! I got into my locker, and grabbed some of my books that I need for the day. I needed my biology book, my Math book, and my Personal finance book. When I put them in my backpack and closed the locker, I looked beside me, and I saw X leaning the side of his arm on the locker. “Hey there.” I said. “I’m heading to class.” “I’m walking with you.” He said as we walked together. We walked down the hall, and while we were walking, we were talking. We were just acting like friends, when I felt something touch my hand. It was X’s hand, trying to hold mine. When I looked down at his hand, he looked at me, and smiled. I just smiled back, and we headed to his class. *** “When do you leave for your trip?” I asked. We were just sitting by his locker, talking. “I leave tomorrow actually.” He said. “We’re going to the M.C.M.A 2014. I think I’ll have fun. “ “Think? You’ll be away from this hell hole.” “I know.” He said. The bell then rand, and we got up. “Well, I will see you later.” “Ok.” He gave me a kiss, and then walked into his classroom. Why on earth did he give me a kiss? I mean, what the fuck? We had a fucking make-out session last night, he wants more? What a fucking teenwhore! But I need to just let it go. A teenwhore now, a manwhore later… I walked to my classroom, and just sat in that class. Chapter 12 I hate this class, for one reason. Well, let’s just say that the class has evolved to be something worse… Because you-know-who just got out of P.S.F.N.C… And he sits right next to Tammy. If you don’t know, he bullies Tammy for being single. But she now has a boyfriend… Mitch. But I don’t think it’s going so good… I walked into the classroom, sat down in my seat, and went on my computer. It was nice not to socialize, but I saw from the corner of my eye, that ass hole walked in the same time that Tammy did. Not good… “Hey there.” He said, like he has something under his sleeve. Tammy just looked at him. “What do you want?” “How’s the slutty life?” “Well, I’m now in a safe relationship you chubby coon.” Tammy said. Tammy, you fucking idiot! Don’t mess with that fatass! His eyes opened wide. Well, that sure got him! “Excuse me? But I will NOT take your bullshit this year!” he said. “And she will not take yours.” I said, not looking up from my computer. I don’t want to make eye contact, or I’m going to die! That boy just looked at me, and said, “At least I’m not a fag.” This boy is gonna die! Keep me away from this ugly bowl haired cut, small dick, skinny cunt, eat more wangering son of a bitch! “That’s what makes me unique! Unlike you, who like to pick on people and probably will NEVER find love. Sorry, it’s just you and your hand tonight.” Fells good to be a ganster! But it was a great way to reference P!nk! You know, the best singer in the world? No? Anyway, back on track. The bully got up from his seat, and said to me, “You and me, behind the school! After school! We’re bringing this on! Or I’ll tell the whole school you’re a fag.” “OK, this is going to stop!” I heard Mrs. Ron say as she entered the class. “Go down to the office!” The bully left the room, and Mrs. Ron rolled her eyes. Hey, I don’t blame her! About three seconds before the bell had rung, Justin entered and sat in his new seat (Next to Tammy on the other side) and Mrs. Ron handed out a worksheet. “Now, do this before the timer goes off.” She can help us, but she can be a bitch at the same time… Chapter 13 It was soon lunchtime, and I was sitting in the library with Nasya and her friends. They were doing the puzzle, while Nasya and I were talking. Tammy said she wanted to be alone with her friends today… Heaven knows why… “So…how is with you and X?” she asked. “Well…” I started to say. Do I really ant to tell her about yesterday? Fuck it, I’ll say it! “We made out.” I replied. The girls stopped doing the puzzle and landed their eyes on me. “You did what?” Nasya asked, surprise in her voice. “I mean, he wanted to, and I just played along.” “Did the train go in the tunnel?” Madison asked. Eww! Sex! “First off, eww to that! Second off, no way!” I replied with sass in my voice. “Jesus Christ, I was just asking.” “But sex is discussing!” I whined. “Next thing I hear about sex, I’m ‘gonna puke!” Nasya said and covered her ears. “Sorry.” When Nasya uncovered her ears, Jessie said to me, “I have known X for a while, and he is ashamed to say his real name. He’s even on the school newspaper and he goes by ‘mister X’.” “I figured that out yesterday.” I replied, putting a piece of the puzzle in it’s place. “What is his real name?” “To be honest, he sort of has a big name, so I’d rather not say what it is.” “It can’t be that big!” I said. “That’s what she said…but it IS big. I’m being honest.” “She said that too.” Nasya said and chucked a little bit. “She’s right. He’s an author, and a New York times bestseller.” SHIT! HOLY FUCK! He DOES have a big name then! “What does he write?” I asked. “He writes stuff about what he likes.” Nasya replied. “Romantic stuff.” Yeah, it’s probably erotic stuff… “He probably wrote the next Fifty Shades of Grey.” I said. “I read is work, and he actually didn’t. It’s Young adult romance about this gay boy that struggles with his sexuality.” Sounds like more… Is she sure it’s not my autobiography? Maybe… When the bell rang, we got up, and left the library. There was no other words spoken. When Tammy left the library, I rushed up to her, and asked, “Why did you want to be alone with your friends?” “We’re planning a girl’s night out.” “I’m gay, so does that make me a girl?” I asked. I mean, girls like boys, gays like boys… We’re like girls! Instead of agreeing, she gave me a what-the-fuck look. “Do you have a penis?” “Yeah?” “Then no.” she said and laughed a little bit. “Sorry, it’s just us.” Damn… Chapter 14 I got onto the bus after the last bell rang, and sat in my usual seat. I didn’t want to be at this school anymore! I mean, this school would be better off being burned and rebuilt. Maybe with 99.9% of the students in there… Maybe… Maybe not… I brought out the H.M Ward book that I was (almost done) reading, and started to go in a book-trans. That’s what I call it when a reader is reading and they can’t stop. That the book is SOOOOOO good! “Hey Gary.” That got me out of my trans. I looked up from my book, and looked at Jenny. The girl who called me. “Hey.” I said and scooted over so she could sit down. She sat down next to me, and asked, “Want to go Christmas shopping with me? I mean, it’s almost finals, and you should think of some Christmas presents for us. After studying. Shit! I totaly forgot about that! “Sure.” I said and continued my book. Chapter 15 When we reached the mall, we went into the JC Pennies, because we were starting with mom’s gift. There was a ton of stuff there, from perfume to cloths. “So, have you find something for mom?” Jenny asked as she was looking at the cloths. “No, did you?” I asked. “No.” We were still looking, when I started to feel someone hug me from behind. The guy’s arms felt strong, and when I looked behind me, it was X. Why is he here? “Hey there.” He greeted. “Hi! What are you doing here?” I asked. “I’m looking for my brother’s Christmas present,” He replied. “I’m thinking he needs condoms.” What the fuck? “Why?” I asked. “He has sex with his girlfriend all the time. He’s in college.” Oh Jesus fuck! “That’s…interesting.,” I replied. “I don’t like it.” “Because you don’t like eating that cat?” “Yes.” Jenny was just looking at us. “I’m keeping out of this conversation.” She said and walked away. “Have fun.” X let me go, and just smiled at me. “I don’t think your sister approves of me.” “I don’t think so either.” I replied. “Well, I better get going.” He said and kissed me. He then walked away, leaving me in the dust. Why is he such a teenwhore? What the hell? Jenny then walked up to me, and said, “So, how was it?” “He kissed me and left.” “I would stay away from him. He’s trouble.” Jenny warned. “But he—” Don’t throw your butts at me! Stay…away…from…him!” She could be right…he could give me something… But I think he could be mine… Chapter 16 School went by slow the next day. It was the same stuff as yesterday.: Math class being boring as hell, Tammy complaining about her Advanced acting class during lunch, and I was at the second to last class of the day…American Government. My American government teacher was a BORING class. All he did was sit in his desk with a book on his lap, and TALK…I mean, he sounded so DULL! I mean, the dull that makes you sleep. Story of my class…. “Gary!” I heard the teacher yell. I was asleep in his class, and he HATED it when people slept in his class. I propped up my head, and said, “yeah?” “Don’t sleep in my class.” He said and continued to teach. *** When the final bell rang, I headed out of the school, and headed onto the bus. I met up with Jenny, and we sat in the seat together. “What did teenwhore say to you today?” she asked. “Well, he is on his trip to the MCMA, so he wasn’t here.” He said. “Good, he’s gone.” Jenny said and went on her phone. I got onto my phone, and I noticed I had one text from X. ** hey, hows school? ** Isn’t he suppose to be in those labs tat he told me about? ** good. Arnt u suppose 2 b in those labs? ** ** these broing things? ** Well, the only things I was talking about… “Who are you texting?” Jenny asked and looked over at my phone. Jesus Christ girl! Why are you so nosy? “Tammy.” I lied. When I looked back down on my phone, I noticed I ACTUALY got a text form Tammy. ** hey, wanna hang out at the mall ** ** Sure ** I turned to Jenny, and said, “Hey, Tammy’s going to pick me up and we’re going to hang at the mall.” “Okay.” Chapter 17 This time, I had to tell mom that I was going to the mall with Tammy. I mean, I didn’t want her to freak out. Like she did last time… When I got into the car with Tammy and her sister (Tammy doesn’t drive, and she wanted to come anyway) I sat down and we drove off. “So, I was thinking that we could go shopping for our Christmas dance uniforms. I know that you asked someone out, and I know you’ll have fun.” Oh shit! I didn’t ask anyone out yet! “Yeah, I have someone in mind, but I need the right time to ask him.” I said. “Whoa, whoa, WHOA! HIM?!” Carrie asked. “Yeah, I’m gay.” “I knew he was a suspect.” “Yeah, a suspect of murdering that pussy.” I replied. “Just kidding.” “Eww!” Tammy replied. “That pussy must smell musky.” OK, you just made it worse! “Eww!” I replied. “Well, you brought up the word pussy.” OK, just stop! “OK, this talk is coming to an end.” Carrie said. “We’re here now.” We parked in one of the parking spaces, and headed out. The south mall was a lot smaller than the West mall, and I think that is a lot worse. For starters, the mall has a LOT less stuff than the west, and it is…just…boring! When we got in, we headed over to the JCPennies, and Tammy chose her dress out. She was torn between a dress that was showing a little but of her stomach with some strips covering it (And also some of her boobs) and a dress that sort of looked like she was going to get married to Mitch. “Which one do you like?” she asked. “I liked the first one.” I replied. “Same.” Carrie replied. She decided to go with the first one, and we went over to the boy’s section to find a tux for me. “So, who do you plan taking out to the dance?” Tammy asked as we were looking for a tux. “It’s a surprise.” I replied. “Oh come on! You can tell us!” Tammy replied. Can I? “Fine…it’s X.” I replied. “But it’s not set in stone.” “Well, that escalated quickly.” She replied. “Why you say that?” “I mea, you met a couple weeks ago.” I cut her off. “And we made out a couple times.” “You made out with that boy?” Carrie asked. “Yup.” “How was it?” “You find out when you make out with a boy.” I replied. “By the way, it was heavenly.” “Was he…uh…active?” Tammy asked. “Let’s just say I could conceder him a teenwhore.” “A TEENWHORE?” Iammy asked. “Please explain! Come on! Details! DETAILS!” Geese, give me a chance to speak! “Well, when we were making out a couple days ago, he was a madman!” “How?” “He took my short off, and—” Carrie cut me off. “Enough said. He’s a teenwhore.” Damn right he is! “So, do you think it’s the smartest thing to ask home out to the dance?” Carrie asked. “Probably not, but why should I not love someone just of their weirdness. I know you think that.” I then pretended to cough and said, “Mitch.” “Hey!” “Sorry, he IS weird.” Carrie replied. “I do have to admit it, but he’s MY weird guy.” Tammy replied. “Besides, who do you have for a backup?” “I don’t. I could always use this tux for church.” I replied. “True.” Chapter 18 When I got home, it was late. I mean, eleven-thirty late. I walked in the door, to find Mom watching TV. “How was it?” Mom asked. “Fun. I got a tux for the Christmas dance.” I replied and showed her the tux. “Nice. When is it?” “Sometime next week.” I replied. “Well, you better get to bed.” Since when do we have a bedtime? I walked upstairs, and headed into my room. Before I could get in, I heard Jenny’s door open. “So, who are you going with?” she asked. “I am going with X.” I replied. “Well, this I got to see.” She replied and went back into her room. *** Today was Saturday, and I had noting to do. I mean, what was there to do? X was gone. Tammy was busy. Mom had stuff to do with Jenny. What the fuck? I laid down on my bed, and brought out my phone. I looked at the text messages, and I noticed there was one form X. ** hey, call me. ** Why does he want me to call him? This is the perfect time to tell him that I want to go to the dance with him! I clicked the call button, and he answered. “Hey,” he greeted. “What is it?” “Well, do you want to go to the dance with me? I’ve been wanting to ask you.” YES! “Took the words right out of my mouth.” I replied. “Huh?” “I as going to ask you.” I replied. “Oh wow.” He replied with a small pause. “I have tickets for us, and I think it’ll be fun.” “Where are you?” “I am at my house now, In my room. We got off early, and I need you to come over here.” He said. “I think I can trust you with what I’m going to say.” Oh shit! Is he going to tell me his real name? Shit! This is going to be good! Chapter 19 I walked into his room, and I sat down on his bed. I didn’t know what the big deal was, but I knew that he wanted to get something off his chest. He sat down on the bed next to me, and said, “I have something for you.” He planted a kiss on my lips, and laid me down on the bed. He pinned my arms down, and madly made out with me. Was THIS what he wanted? Why? Horny ass mofo! I lifted his head up with my lips, and turned to my right. There was a book on the ground. It looked like it was a YA romance book, and it was very thick. Was that his book? “What book are you reading?” I asked. He quickly got up, and put the book back in the box next to it. The box looked like it had a lot of books in it. AND it had the logo of a famous book publishing company on there, Atria paperbacks. I could tell that he WAS hiding something. “What are you talking about?” He asked. He sounded like he was trying to hide something. ”I do know that you are an author of a book.” I said. “Why don’t you tell me what book he wrote?” He looked nervous. I don’t think he was comfortable with what I said. ”I am the author of a book, but this is my book.” he said. I could tell he was lying. ”Oh come on, I know you’re lying.” I said. “Can I see what the book looks like?” He was shaking little bit. He looks scared. But he finally manned up and said, “Fine.” He got out one of the books, and showed it to me. The cover looked absolutely amazing. It had the picture of a planner on it, and it look like it was some sort of Harry Potter book. But there was one thing that I recognized a lot. Jordan Haney. Holy crap! X is Jordan! ”I think I recognize his name.” I replied. “How?!” he asked. I pulled out the ID form my wallet, and showed it to him. “Is this you?” His eyes opened wide. Like, really wide. “You’re that guy in the dark?!” He asked in surprise. “I should have known.” “Yeah.” I said. “I’ve been searching for you for a while.” “I’ve been searching for you too!” Wait… He was trying to find me too?! Shit! I leaned in closer to him, and said, “Well, we found love in a hopeless place.” I smiled, and planted a kiss on his forehead. “We still have the dance, you know.” “I know. I can’t wait.” Chapter 20 The day of the dance Jordan helped me into his car, being very careful not to have me fall. I was wearing the nice cloths that I had bought, and he loved it. We were going to the Christmas dance We were at the school now; his red mustang was in the parking lot. He got out and walked around the car to open my door. He held out his hand for me to help me out. “Will we just eat there and go.” I pouted, arms folded like a little kid. Was I seriously acting this way? He sighed. “No way! I didn’t buy these tickets NOT to dance! “ I gulped. Dancing. “Gary, I won't let anything hurt you — not even your feelings of dancing.” I thought about that and suddenly felt much better. He could see that in my face, and he smiled to it. He leaned down and wrapped one arm around my waist. I took his other hand and let him lift me from the car. He kept his arm tightly around me, supporting me as I limped toward the school. When we got inside, I was surprised. There were actual balloon arches and twisted garlands of pastel crepe paper festooning the walls. Wow… He bought our tickets, and then turned me toward the dance floor. “I've got all night,” he warned. “Jordan, I honestly can't dance!” I could feel the panic bubbling up inside my chest. Every time I would dance, I would be called a fag… So I gave up on it. “Don't worry,” he whispered back. “I can.” He put his hand on my waist, and we started to dance, in a crowd of people. As we were dancing, I could feel Jordan was peaceful. “Will you tell me something?” he asked, glancing down at me with a slight smile. “Do you want me?” “How so?” “You know, me in your life. As a boyfriend.” This was my chance! He put his finger on my lips, and said, “I think I know the answer.” I smiled under his fingertips. “Yes.”

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